Ein Vater hört wie seine Tochter gerade Sex mit ihrem Freund hat. Am nächsten morgen, als die Tochter ihren Freund zur Tür begleitet, steht ihr Vater an der Ecke und wartet.
Die Tochter hat sich endlich veraschiedet, als der Vater sagt: " Weißt du eigentlich, dass von zu viel Sex deine Gebährmutter rausflutschen kann?"
Tochter:"Ehm, ne..:/"
Vatrer:" Kannst du mir ruhig glauben!"

Als ein paar Tage später der Freund der Tochter zu besuch war und sie wieder Sex hatten, dachte sich der Vater so kann das nicht weiter gehen!
Der Freund musste am gleichen Abend wieder nach Hause. Als die Tochter schlief, ging der Vater in ihr Zimmer und legte ein rohes Stück Rindfleisch zwischen die Beine seiner Tochter.
Am nächsten morgen kam die Tochter runter und sagte zu ihrem Vater:" Du Dad, ich glaube du hattest recht, die Gebärmutter ist mir rausgefallen."
Vater:" Ja, eklig, was??=)"
Tochter:" Naja, ekliger wars, sie wieder reinzutun!!" Dem Vater blieb der Mund oggen stehen und die Tochter aß ihr Frühstück dass ihr Vater ihr bereitet hat.. ♥

Die besten neusten Sprüche

Narada (Lord of Events) inquired of the Lord of Love:
"What is the state of the illumined man?"
The Lord replied: "Hard to reach is the state
Of the illumined man. Only a few
Attain to it. But even one is enough.
For he is the pure Self of the Scriptures;
He is truly great because he serves me.
And I reveal myself through him always."

He has renounced all selfish attachments
And observes no rites or ceremonies.
He has only minimum possessions,
And lives his life for the welfare of all.

2. He has no staff nor tuft nor sacred thread.
He faces heat and cold, pleasure and pain,
Honor and dishonor with equal calm.
He is not affected by calumny,
Pride, jealousy, status, joy, or sorrow,
Greed, anger, or infatuation,
Excitement, egoism, or other goads;
For he knows he is neither body nor mind.

Free from the sway of doubt and false knowledge
He lives united with the Lord of Love.
Who is ever serene, immutable,
Indivisible, the source of all joy
And wisdom. The Lord is his true home,
His pilgrim's tuft of hair, his sacred thread;
For he has entered the unitive state.

3. Having renounced every selfish desire,
He has found his rest in the Lord of Love.
Wisdom is the staff that supports him now.
Those who take a mendicant's staff while they
Are still at the mercy of their senses
Cannot escape enormous suffering.
The illumined man knows this truth of life.

4. For him the universe is his garment
And the Lord not separate from himself.
He ofs no ancestral oblations;
He praises nobody, blames nobody,
Is never dependent on anyone.

He has no need to repeat the mantram,
No more need to practice meditation.
The world of change and changeless reality
Are one to him, for he sees all in God.

5. The aspirant who is seeking the Lord
Must free himself from selfish attachments
To people, money, and possessions.
When his mind sheds every selfish desire,
He becomes free from the duality
Of pleasure and pain and rules his senses.
No more is he capable of ill will;
No more is he subject to elation,
For his senses come to rest in the Self.
Entering into the unitive state,
He attains the goal of evolution.
Truly he attains the goal of evolution.
O M shanti shanti shanti